I Want to Save You (I Need You to Save Me Too)
by Selena Marie Weasley
Summary: "She stands in front of the cell, playing with her hands nervously. This could go about a thousand different ways and she's not prepared for any of them." In which Iris goes to visit Barry in his cell after Joe gets sucked through the breach with Zoom. Set during 2x23.


_This is basically what I wanted to see happen if Iris had visited Barry in his cell after Joe went through the breach with Zoom. Lots of anger and yelling. But I think I ended it on a hopeful note, despite what happens in the finale._

 _Title taken from the song I Want to Save You by Something Corporate_

* * *

They made the right choice. She knows they did. They had no other option. But it doesn't mean that the devastated expression and look of complete betrayal on his face when he looked at her didn't break her heart. He looked to her for help, his eyes pleading for her to tell him that she didn't agree to this. But she did. And because she's a stubborn woman she doesn't go back on her decisions once she makes them.

She knows Barry. Knows how hurt and angry he is, how much he wants revenge, how much he wants to kill Zoom. And honestly she wants the monster dead too. For all the pain he has caused, all of the deaths by his hand. But she reluctantly knows Wells is right. The way Barry is going about this is going to get him killed. And she won't let that happen. They need a plan they can't go into this based on pure emotion.

They made the right choice. Right?

She glances briefly at the video screen showing Barry in his cell. He's hunched over; knees pulled in close to his chest his arms draped over them and his head bowed down. He looks like a small child and she wants nothing more than to be able to comfort him, but they have to go. She's fully prepared for him to hate her and she can handle it, especially if it keeps him alive.

It's time to get this over with.

"I'm sorry, Barry," she whispers before leaving the lab and following the others.

 _I hope this works._

* * *

The plan didn't work.

When they return the whole team is silent. Her dad got sucked through the breach with Zoom. She doesn't lay blame on anyone because they all agreed to it. But she can't help but wonder what would have happened if Barry had been there. Then again it all happened so quickly he might not have been able to do anything even with his speed. But she doesn't think about the "what ifs" what happened, happened and now they have to live with the consequences.

She hasn't allowed herself to really think about it, to think about her dad being gone, to think about him being at Zoom's mercy. Because she knows he wouldn't think twice about killing her dad to hurt them even more. Part of the plan was not to reopen the breach once Zoom was sent through. And he was sent through, but now her dad is trapped over there too. And she's conflicted. She knows her dad, knows he wouldn't want them risking everything just to get him back. But he's her dad.

Wally comes in to the lab and she breaks the news to him. He's clearly upset and she doesn't blame him. She holds everything in, tries not to feel anything because right now all she wants to do is cry. She tries to tell her brother they are following the plan, that there is nothing else they can do. But even as the words are leaving her lips she doesn't believe them, she wants her dad back. Regardless, she sends Wally home and she hates being so harsh with him, but she needs time to think.

"I'm going to go talk to Barry," she mutters. She needs to talk to him. Check up on him and try to get through to him, calm him down. And she needs to tell him what happened.

She's already second-guessing their decision to lock him up. He should have been included in the plan all along. They should have tried harder. She should have fought harder for him. But she made her decision and now she has to live with it.

Wells tries to stop her, "West-"

"I'm going," is all she says, her voice firm and definite, allowing no room for an argument. And no one else tries to stop her. They hopefully realize that she's going to do this whether they like it or not. Because Joe is family to him too, he needs to know.

She stands in front of the cell, playing with her hands nervously. This could go about a thousand different ways and she's not prepared for any of them. He lifts his head up when he senses her presence and narrows his eyes at her, glaring. For someone so kind and sweet as Barry he has a nasty glare, but she's not going to allow it to get to her. He's defensive and protecting himself and it's completely understandable.

"What are you doing here?" his voice is so harsh, so venomous, but she doesn't back down. If he needs to lash out at her, she'll let him. If this is how he needs to vent then so be it. She knows deep down that he may be directing his anger at her, and some of it may be because of her, but also he's hurting and the fact they went behind his back adds to that.

"Barry," she says in a slow voice like she's speaking to a child, like she's talking down to him and she hates herself for it. "It was for the best." And maybe talking to him like this isn't the best choice, the last thing he probably wants is to be treated like a child, like he's incapable of making his own decisions, but she doesn't know how else to approach him, to make him understand.

He snorts sarcastically. "Right. Locking me up was for the best. You all went behind my back! You, _you,_ Iris. I thought-I thought you of all people would have my back. I thought you were on my side."

She'd be lying if she said that his words didn't sting. Any time Barry yells or is angry with her is the worst because he's usually so even tempered and when he's like this he doesn't hold back, doesn't spare her feelings. And there is no predicting what he'll say, but she also knows that right now everything is coming to the surface at once, everything he's buried down for the past couple of years.

But she doesn't take it lightly. She fights right back.

"I am!" she shoots back, raising her voice. "I am on your side and that's why I agreed to it. Do you think I took that decision lightly? Do you think I wanted to put you in here? You weren't listening to anyone. You wouldn't have listened to me! You were going to get yourself killed. You wouldn't have lasted five seconds against Zoom he would have killed you. And then what? He would have killed us and millions of other people. Is that what you want?"

He comes to stand right up against the glass so that it's the only thing separating them and he has his fist against the glass and she can feel the anger radiating off him. "I want you to get the hell out. I want you to leave me alone. I don't give a shit if you think this is for the best. Just go back to your team, because clearly you don't need me anymore."

The Barry on the opposite side of the glass is completely unrecognizable to her right now and it worries her. His eyes are hard and cold and there's no sign of warmth, no sign of what makes him _Barry._ What makes him her Barry. She knows she has to get through to him.

When she doesn't say anything right away his lips pull up in a smirk and he laughs humorlessly. "I'm right aren't I? You don't think I can make the right decisions, but all of you can make the right ones? Good luck doing this without me." His voice is deadly calm, but also harsh and distant.

Oh she's pissed. Pissed because she knows exactly what he's doing. She can see right through it. He's purposefully saying things to make her angry enough that she'll leave. He's trying to push her away. It's only partly working. She's pissed that he's trying this with her. But it's not going to work on her this time. She's not leaving.

He turns away from her and she knows he thinks that he accomplished his goal. He probably noticed the look on her face.

"Look at me, Barry."

He faces her again arms crossed over his chest, glaring at her but she ignores it. She doesn't give a shit if he hates her right now because she's not taking the bait. She won't let him do this.

"I know what you're doing." She sees him falter slightly, sees the surprise on his face before he goes back to glaring at her. "But I'm not going to let you shut me out this time. This time I'm not going to let you push everyone away. The thing is you're not the only one who will do anything to protect the people you care about. Iwill do whatever I can to keep you safe even if it's from yourself. You may not need me right now or want me around for whatever reason, but guess what? _I_ need you. I need you, Barry. And I'm sorry, I am so sorry that I agreed to put you in here, I didn't want to hurt you I never want to hurt you. But I'd do it again in a heartbeat if it means that I don't lose you. Because I can't lose you. I _won't_ lose you."

Her voice cracks on the last word. She doesn't care that she's crying. She needs him to know that she's not going to leave him that she's fighting for him. Because even thinking about losing him is too painful, especially with her dad gone.

He digests her words for a few seconds. And she can see his eyes softening as they look at her. "Iris." It's a broken whisper of her name and it's tinged with frustration. Like he doesn't know exactly what to do. She knows he hates it when she cries, but the glass separates them. And he's probably frustrated because she's right, because she won't let him shut her out.

He sighs heavily hands going to the side of his head before turning his back to her. He goes back to the wall, sliding down it, returning to his previous position. Elbows rest on his knees as he holds his head in his hands. It's like he has suddenly given up, all of the fight drained out of him just like that and now he's just exhausted. And she's tired too. All she wants to do is comfort him and to be comforted by him.

"Barry." He looks up at her, but he's guarded again. Because of her. Because of the team. He isn't going to let himself get hurt again. Not going to let her hurt him again. And that's when she knows she was getting through to him. Because he doesn't want to acknowledge that she's right. He's afraid.

"What?" His tone is bitter and she can tell he doesn't want her here, he wants her to leave him alone, but she's not going anywhere.

"If I open this door do you promise not to run?" she asks.

He could easily lie to her. He could leave, run right past her and she wouldn't be able to do anything about it. But she's done talking to him from the other side of the glass.

He shrugs, not looking at her. Under his breath he mutters, "you're just going to do whatever you want anyway." She's not sure if she's meant to hear it or if he purposefully said it loud enough that she would. Then he answers louder. "Fine."

He's like a grumpy five year old with a grudge and in any other situation she would find it hilarious and tease him mercilessly, but right now it just hurts her. She unlocks the door and enters the cell sitting next to him and making sure to leave some space between them.

She stares at her lap thinking about her dad. How the hell is she supposed to tell Barry? How is she supposed to tell him that his second father is with Zoom on Earth-2? He just lost his own father and now her father is gone. And she knows the moment she tells him he's going to want to save Joe. But she worries that if she tells him she won't be able to calm him down. Because right now she thinks she can, thinks she can reason with him. Still, her mind wanders to her dad and she tries not to think about the worst possible scenario, but all she can see is Zoom torturing him. She sees him begging for his life. She doesn't even realize how badly her hands are shaking. Not until a hand covers hers in attempt to the stop the shaking.

"Hey," he interrupts her dark thoughts like he senses something is wrong. He's always been able to tell when something is wrong with her, but that's not what gets to her, it's the fact that his voice is surprisingly soft and concerned. He's putting away his anger for her. "What is it?"

She takes a shaky breath trying to draw strength from his touch, gripping his hand tightly, looking anywhere but him. She doesn't want to tell him. He doesn't need this right now. But there is never going to be a right time to tell him. She fears that if she does this will set them back even further, that if she does the progress she made will be erased, that he won't look at her the same way ever again. But she thinks of her dad. He could be dead. The longer they wait the more likely something bad will happen and she can't chance that. She needs her dad back and she needs Barry's help to do it.

So she decides to tell him. "We had this plan to get rid of Zoom. And it worked…" she trails off making it clear that something went wrong.

"Iris," his voice is harder this time taking on a warning tone not to lie to him. "What happened?" His hand tightens around hers and she's thankful that by some miracle he hasn't let go of her yet.

She looks up at the ceiling. "My dad got sucked through the breach with Zoom. We agreed that once he was through we wouldn't reopen it again." She prepares herself for his anger, for him to yell at her and she's ready to take it.

After the words leave her lips he wrenches his hand from hers and she immediately misses his touch. She watches as his fingers that were just between hers curl into his palm, clenching them into a fist so tightly that his knuckles are white and it has to be painful. His eyes squeeze shut and his jaw tightens and she sees about a million different emotions cross his face. With a loud "fuck!" he swings his fist back banging it _hard_ against the wall between their bodies. The sudden loud noise causes her to physically flinch, her shoulders hunch up towards her neck and she jumps slightly. She hates that she reacts this way because that means she's scared. And she's not scared at least that's what she tries to tell herself, it was the sudden noise, it has nothing to do with him.

"Barry," she tries gently. And for a moment she thinks about reaching out to him, but knows he wouldn't allow her to touch him in this state so she keeps her hands to herself.

His eyes snap to hers and she has the urge to scoot further away from him, but his eyes hold in her place and she can see the anger burning hot in his green eyes that seem to be a shade darker now.

She's seen him angry, seen him pissed off. But this, this is different. This is pure almost uncontrollable rage and it does scare her a little to see him like this. _He_ doesn't scare her; he never could, because she knows he would never harm her intentionally. But she is hurting because he is, because he's so angry and Barry is not an angry person. All she wants to do is help him and she's scared she might not be able to.

Seconds later he's on his feet pacing around the cell. "What are you waiting for? Why are we sitting here? We need to get him, we-"

He's getting worked up which he tends to do sometimes and if he's not careful he'll run himself into the ground. She gets to her feet coming to stand in front him, placing her hands flat on his chest trying to calm him down and she can feel his heart racing under her palm, more so than usual. "Barry. _Barry,_ look at me." She can tell it's reluctant when he meets her eyes, but regardless he does. She raises one hand to up his face and he leans into her touch like it's completely instinctual. She takes that as a good sign. That maybe she can get through to him. "You need to take a deep breath and-"

He shakes his head pulling away from her and she curses to herself. "Don't tell me what to do. I'm not losing anyone else. I'm not losing another parent. You and Wally are not losing another parent."

If it was possible to love him more than she already does, she would. Because he's not just doing this for himself right now, he's doing this for her and Wally too. And she loves him for that. And deep down he's right. They aren't losing anyone else. The only problem is he's still too emotional right now and she needs to calm him down before they get her dad back.

"I know," she says in a soft tone. "We will get him back. But you can't go in to it like this. You need to relax, take a breath and have a clear head. So just for a moment look at me, don't think about anything else." Both of her hands find his face again, thumbs rubbing along his jaw, feeling the slightest bit of stubble there, rough under her fingers. His eyes meet hers almost shyly and cautiously, but she continues on confidently. "Right now it's just you and me, nothing else matters."

 _Like we were the only two people in the world._

Gradually, his body relaxes and the rage fades away, the pain and anger is still there, she knows it is, knows it's not going to go away easily. But he's focusing on her, his forehead coming down to rest against hers. They breathe in tandem and she finds herself calming down as well. No longer worrying too much about her dad because she has faith in Barry, faith that they are going to get him back, bring him home. He's always been a calming presence and now is no different. This may have been for him, but she needs it too, needs to reassure herself that everything is going to be okay. Her eyes never once waver from his, staying locked on his green eyes that are much lighter now, no longer clouded with fury.

"I'm sorry, Iris, I was-"

"Stop," she commands firmly, cutting him off immediately. She doesn't want to hear it. "It's okay. You have every right to be angry. We can talk about it later. But right now we need to come up with a plan to get my dad back. We need to all work together, the rest of the team needs you and you need us to figure out how to defeat Zoom. Okay?"

He nods. "Okay." He may not completely agree with her, but it's good enough, he's listening and realizing he can't do this alone, or that she isn't going to let him do it alone, it's a team effort. Zoom has hurt all of them and they are all going to take him down.

She drops her hands from him and lets him take a step back from her. This time she senses that maybe he didn't want to move away and she really didn't want to either. It would be much easier to just forget about everything and let it just be the two of them, but they have bigger problems to face.

He's starting to head back to the cortex, but there's still something holding her back.

"Barry?"

"Hmm?" He turns to look at her as she walks up near standing in front of him. He looks worried, but she tries to give him a reassuring smile to tell him it's okay.

"When this is done. When we get my dad back and defeat Zoom. Could we…do you think we…" she stops and is frustrated at the fact that she doesn't know what to say that she's nervous and all of the sudden shy. Which is ridiculous because this is Barry. She shouldn't be shy around him. She's sure she's doing nothing to ease his concern so she just tries to come out and say it. "You and me, do you think we could give it a try? I mean only if you want to know, I know things have changed since you asked me. But I think we-I want to try."

She's almost afraid to look him in the eyes. She remembers their conversation at dinner just a few nights ago. They were so happy and he suggested they see where it goes and she had agreed. But now? Now Zoom had murdered his father and her dad was being held hostage. Things had changed and no one knew what was going to happen next. All she knows is that she isn't ready to give up on them yet, she just doesn't know if he's in the place to try and start something with her. She's afraid of rejection, but then she feels his finger on her chin tilting it up so she has to look at him and she's well aware that the situation has flipped.

"Iris," he says with a small smile. "There's nothing else I would love more."

And she can't help but smile despite everything. "Okay."

Then he cradles her face in his hands bring her closer so he can kiss her on the forehead and she lets her eyes fall shut for a moment as his lips linger, brushing against her skin in the best way when he speaks. "We're going to get him back, I promise."

She believes him. With everything she has, she knows they are going to get her dad back. Then once it's over they can start to heal together.

When he pulls away they are still standing close to each other and she smiles up at him and he smiles back. Then she takes his hand and together they walk back to the cortex ready to face anything together.


End file.
